my assignment.

Sometime in the last couple of weeks I came to an understanding that I had been given an assignment, a mandate; one that I realized in my heart was not going to be easy or fleeting. Not only is it quite intricate, the responsibility is much bigger and more critical than I would have ever thought myself capable of handling. Still, it remains so undeniably real.

As I attempt to sort through the unending stream of questions that have risen within me, at this point what the assignment involves is secondary to the fact that it is specifically my assignment. The task has been assigned to me, to Anna.

In the process, I’ve observed in myself behavior and demeanor so naturally forthcoming, yet so unfathomable given the circumstances. Some of it, for someone on the outside looking in, can be easily interpreted to be stupid, masochistic or even pathetic. But that would be wrong.

For me, my actions and reactions have actually exemplified how it is as if it had already been ingrained in me how to handle this project, long before it came to be. All of it also continues to attest to how it must be in my very being to be able to do whatever it takes to see my assignment come to fruition. To give up would go against my very design.

So as daunting as the endeavor may be, I believe that it would never have been appointed as a set up for me to fail. Instead, I acknowledge that I’ve been commissioned for the very reason that I am up to the challenge. How could I not be, when seeing this very task through to the end is, time and again, so obviously incorporated in the very purpose for which I exist? Strength and courage and confidence, but most of all hope, are now roused within me because in order for this mission to be accomplished, I am simply called to be myself, the very person God intended and created me to be.